Scam Alert

Recently I bought some Nike socks. At first I thought it was neat that my socks told me on which foot to place them. I L and R are featured near the toe of the sock to induce the wearer to place the sock on only one foot. I haven't put the left sock on the right foot, or vice versa, for fear of something terrible happening, but I have recently become very aware of the scam Nike is running here.

Because socks are supposed to fit snuggly, there will inevitably be some rubbing against the toenails; especially the big toe nail. Now, with socks that are not foot specific, one never knows if the same sock is going on the same foot. Such socks don't order the wearer to follow an order, and the rotation of such socks keeps only one sock from being subject to friction from the big toe nail. As we all know, such friction eventually leads to a hole in your sock, which is the first step to becoming a hobo. The whole in your shoe is next. To avoid becoming a hobo, you have to get rid of the wholly sock and its partner, and buy a new pair.

So, by telling me which foot to place my sock on, Nike is causing my socks to wear down quicker, which leads me to buy more Nike socks! After all, with the countless decisions we have to make every day, it is nice to not have to choose sock to put on which foot.

I'm to you Nike, and other foot specific sock makers.