Scam Alert

Recently I bought some Nike socks. At first I thought it was neat that my socks told me on which foot to place them. I L and R are featured near the toe of the sock to induce the wearer to place the sock on only one foot. I haven't put the left sock on the right foot, or vice versa, for fear of something terrible happening, but I have recently become very aware of the scam Nike is running here.

Because socks are supposed to fit snuggly, there will inevitably be some rubbing against the toenails; especially the big toe nail. Now, with socks that are not foot specific, one never knows if the same sock is going on the same foot. Such socks don't order the wearer to follow an order, and the rotation of such socks keeps only one sock from being subject to friction from the big toe nail. As we all know, such friction eventually leads to a hole in your sock, which is the first step to becoming a hobo. The whole in your shoe is next. To avoid becoming a hobo, you have to get rid of the wholly sock and its partner, and buy a new pair.

So, by telling me which foot to place my sock on, Nike is causing my socks to wear down quicker, which leads me to buy more Nike socks! After all, with the countless decisions we have to make every day, it is nice to not have to choose sock to put on which foot.

I'm to you Nike, and other foot specific sock makers.

major sporting event reminds fans that Jesus hates losers

As the Yankees sealed their 27th World Series, I'm reminded once again how much Jesus hates losers. In postgame interviews, Andy Pettite and Mario Riveria both thanked Jesus for helping them get to the postseason and win the World Series. This year, it looks like Jesus loved the Yankees just a little bit more. If Jesus truly loved each time and player equally, players from both sides could thank Jesus for helping them win the game. But, unless you are one those pansy parents who think there can actually be two winners in a sporting event, you know only one side can claim victory. And tonight, it's apparent that Jesus hates both the Phillies and Philadelphia.

No one has been interviewed on the Phils yet, but I'm guessing they are going to thank Jesus for helping them lose. And, that's because they know they let Jesus down.

It's really sad, because if I lived in Philly, I would hope Jesus loved me. After all, what else would you have going for you living and playing in the city with the worst fans in America.

I don't what to say to the Phillies. Maybe pray harder in spring training next year.

We'll Burn Anything!

Finally, a church figures out how to get adolescent boys interesting in church...Halloween Book Burning. Amazing Grace Baptist Church figured nothing peaks the curious mind of a young boy quite like a huge bonfire of books. It's nice to see that not all fascists forms of celebration have gone away.

It still baffles me why some religious zealots find it hard to believe it when outsiders question their methods, beliefs, and sanity. Fine, burn some satanist music like jazz and oldies but goldies. Most people can clearly hear the devil when enjoying a John Coltrane album or Four Tops record. But since when did 'ol satan swoop in and corrupt southern gospel and christian contemporary?!? I think these all get burned.


I guess things are just so confusing now with boys wearing jewelry, and girls wearing pants that you can be sure anything is what it claims to be. Things are so bad that the church is burning all translations of the Bible that are not the King James Version. That's right New King James Version, into the flames. Joining those blasphemous rags will be Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, John Piper and numerous other scribes of satan.

If you're not sure whether your book or CD is infected with satan, I think it's safe to say the fellas at the church will let you burn anything. So load up the family car, empty your library and enjoy the cleansing fire.

Oh, and there will be BBQ and fried chicken.



Wonkette story

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I'm glad I don't live in the Pacific

If I were fortunate enough to inhabit one of the many beautiful, albeit prone to massive wave attack, islands that dot the Pacific Ocean, I'm not sure if I'd want the guy in the hawaiian shirt with a grin on his face manning the controls when a billion tons of water is rapidly approaching. Brian Shiro, the jovial fellow in the picture, is a Pacific warning center geophysicist. Not to disparage him, because I am sure he's a great geophysicists and has plenty of tsunamis to predict in his future, but maybe he should not have given as his stock photo a picture from the day of the company luau. Sure, he was excited for some mai tai's and hot dogs, but this face does not instill confidence in me that he's ready to call in the warning on a big wave.

However, I'm sure Brian did not pick the photo to accompany the article which was written about the Tsunami Warning Center. Maybe the good folks at CNN wanted to put a happy face on the Center, which I'm guessing may 10 people know about.

"Why is this even news?", you may ask. Well, a few days ago, American Samoa was belted by a tsunami, which was triggered by a massive earthquake. As with most major natural disasters, this event was complete with death, damage, and general devastation. Maybe, to match the mood of the situation, a picture of frantic Center workers might have been more important. Not a picture of a dude chilling at his desk waiting to cut out early so he can hit the beach. I don't recall photos of jolly FEMA staff lounging at the office after Katrina flattened New Orleans. There were photos of FEMA staff lounging, but they looked concerned.

It's cool to draw in other relevant "news" after a major event, but maybe try and have the photos not say "forecasting tsunamis and warning tiny islands about their impending destruction" is like casual Friday every day.

Welcome Back to the Land of the Free...and Ignorant

I was hoping to get back to writing on this blog, but not much has interested me as of late. It's sort of hard to transition from a travel journal to a repository for my thoughts, but having heard about this story the other day, I could not help but vent a bit.

As a short background, Tucker Carlson made some rather offensive comments on FoxNews in regards to a video (video and story) of some school kids singing a song about President Obama during a Black History Month presentation at their school.

Not to make comments one way or the other...okay, well just a few...it is absurd that conservatives think President Obama has some secret plan to overtake the country in a mass-Socialist coup led by a musically-induced band of child soldiers. It was cocaine and gun powder that fueled Charles Taylor's kid soldiers in Libya, not songs and promises of universal health care.

Getting back to Tucker Carlson. I find it absolutely horrendous that someone who compares the President being honored in schools to the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia is able to have a paid job giving his opinion, even if it is to the tens of people who actually still watch FoxNews. Comments like this, coming from someone who has only known unbridled freedom his whole life, are ignorant and offensive to the millions of people who were murdered during Pol Pot's rule, and the scores of people who still live with the untold destruction his regime brought to Cambodia and the region. I'm all for having free, open speech and dialogue, but nothing currently done in this country even comes close to mimicking the horrible things Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin, or any other murderous dictator ever did. Making comparisons like this might be why people who don't have access to freedom think we are a bunch of arrogant ass holes.

Go live in a communist country and understand what it truly means for the government to run your life and control your thoughts before making ignorant, shameful, baseless claims. Having spent time in a country (Laos) where its citizens don't speak out against their government for fear of punishment, I have a new found appreciation for the vast rights that are observed and respected in the US. But, just because we can say things does not mean we should. For most of us, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Stalin, etc. are just blips on the screen of history. Cambodia, Mr. Carlson, has just finished over 70 days of testimony into the atrocities that happened under the Khmer Rouge. I would like to think that for journalists, this terrible event in history is more than an analogy that conservatives can use to scare the nation into thinking Obama is out to destroy our country.

Maybe you should head over to Cambodia and teach their kids some real American songs that are okay to sing. However, this might hard to fit around their daily begging. Which after all they do to pay for school since tyrants destroyed their country and set it back decades.

Jon Stewart's take on this, at 3:30, might be more humorous.

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Back Home

I safely returned back to Georgia yesterday afternoon. It's good to be back, but there are many things from Laos and Thailand that I already miss. While there are some aspects of our western society and culture that are shared with Laos and Thailand, much of what I experienced over the past few months will be hard to recreate or experience here in Georgia. I no longer look at the way things are done in southeast Asia as being weird or foreign; they're just different from how we do things.

One of the hardest things for me to do while in Laos for the summer was to try and get myself to quit thinking like a westerner. This was not completely possible, but I tried as much as possible to not see things through American lenses. Not to say that the way Americans or westerners view the world is wrong, but at times I feel like we view the way things are done in the west as being the correct way of doing things, or the best way to do things. Many times, for many reasons, the way we do things in our hemisphere would never work in the East. Our hubris is great and has lead to many wonderful advances in science, politics, the arts, etc., but some humility and understanding of other cultural traditions I think is at times lacking from our western psyche.

All of last week I stayed with our housekeeper's family in Vientiane. They lived in a large home, but one which would be considered very sparse by our standards. The house was down a dirt road off the street where I lived during the summer. Many of Pik's family lived in houses immediately adjacent to her home. Pik and Siht's house featured a large living room, a big kitchen, 3 bedrooms and one bathroom. The floor was concrete and was covered with linoleum in the bedrooms and living room. There was 1 couch in the house, 2 tables in the kitchen for storage and 2 bamboo eating tables that were moved into the living room when it was meal time. There was no air conditioning, but the bedrooms did have table fans to help combat the heat. While there was a water pump for the house, and a proper toilet, there was no shower in the bathroom. Instead, there was a large plastic barrel under a water spicket and a plastic bowl. To take a shower, I would scoop out water, cold water, from the barrel and rinse myself off. Outside, the yard was scattered with chickens and ducks, and smelled like chickens and ducks.

The first day I was a bit shocked by the situation I found myself in. But, after reminding myself that I was not in the US, or even Thailand, I really enjoyed spending a week living like a Lao person. The family didn't see anything weird or lacking in the way they lived, so who was I to find the situation odd. As I experienced their hospitality over the week, it was also impossible to be anything but grateful for what they shared with me.

Just like the first time, it was hard to say goodbye when I had to go. My last night there, Siht came home from work with a bottle of whiskey and some soda water. We sat around drinking and talking about football (soccer) while Boum and Pik made dinner. I can't describe the warmth that filled me as I enjoyed the family's company for one last night. A few months ago I was a complete stranger to them, and as we ate, laughed and drank I realized how close we had become. It was sad to say goodbye to people I had come to love and who had taken me in.

If you've been reading my posts, it goes without saying that I had an amazing summer. What I did not learn about the black and white letter of the law was certainly made up for by the cultural experiences I had and the interactions I had with the people of Laos.

Back in Thailand

After an amazing 2 months in Laos, I returned to Thailand yesterday. My last day at work was busy wrapping everything up, but we had time for the whole team to go out to lunch. The people I worked with were great and very smart. They have a real vision for the future of Laos and I hope they are able to succeed in their work sooner rather than later. I was sad to be leaving a project that I only recently began to understand and feel a part of. I also knew I was going to miss my new friends from work. We had a party planned for Friday night, so I knew I would get to spend some more time with them before I took off.

After work I ran around town getting ready to leave and preparing for our party. After the khao niaw was placed on the stove, Boum and I headed to the market for fish and veggies to make laap paa. Our house looked more like a restaurant than a home. Sarah and Dena were hard at work making a salad, spring rolls and garlic bread, Pik, Boum, Pown and Pim were busy preparing the laap and I was willingly playing the role of taster. The food they made was awesome and it took some self will to not eat my fill before we took it to the party.

We had the party at a place called the Juke Box that is near our house. The owner is a fellow hasher and a fellow American. He graciously allowed us, and our friends to bring as much food as we wanted and he let me take control of the music. We had about 40 friends show up for what was a great time. Friends from work were there, our neighbors were there, fellow hashers were there, guys we had played football were there and the woman who worked at our favorite noodle shop was there with her sister. In addition to all our friends being there, we had a huge spread of delicious food. There was laap, sushi, spring rolls, KFC (Khouviang Fried Chicken) and several items that were meant for our journey. It was a wonderful way to spend our last night in town. I can't explain how good it felt to be surrounded by our new friends who were also sad to see us go.

Saturday I packed up my room and ran a few more errands. I printed some photos for Pik and Boum, took one last trip to Wat Saladay with Boum for a blessing from the monk and turned in my motorbike.
The blessing was really special because the monk who performed it helped to raise Boum and her father, Siit. I felt honored to share in one more aspect of the family's life. I spent the day trying not to think about leaving, but around 3:30 our van came to usher us to the bus station. Our farewell was happy, but a bit teary. Knowing that I would start crying if I spoke too much, I kept my words short. As we pulled away, Pik and Boum had tears rolling down their cheeks and we all remained pretty quiet. It was weird leaving a place not knowing when, or if, I would be back.

Around 4:00pm Saturday we left the bus station and arrived in Chiang Mai Sunday at about 10am. The trip took a little longer than expected as a result of the bus breaking down at about 4am. Unlike my trip to Laos, where I hardly slept, I was able to nod off fairly easily. The bus we were on was a double-decker and I unfortunately was placed in the front row on the bottom level. Much like sitting in the bulkhead on a plane, this was not the ideal spot to spend 12+ hours. But, since I slept, it was not too bad. I was sleeping pretty good when the bus pulled to the side of the road so the driver could check out whatever problem we were having.

I was not sure why we were stopped, but was content to keep sleeping. Even though the door was open, the air outside was not too warm yet and the air conditioning was still on to keep the bus a comfortable temperature. All was fine until I woke to an intense irritation in my hands. It felt like when you've been outside in cold weather and then put your hands under hot water. At first I had no idea what was causing this terrible sensation, but quickly saw the culprit. In the faint light, I made out the shadow of a mosquito buzzing by. I turned on the overhead light to find about 12 mosquitoes perched on the wall in front of me. While I had been enjoying a nice sleep, my hands and neck had been turned into a buffet by one of southeast Asia's most pesky pests. Along with the other lower level passengers, I killed mosquitoes from about 3-4am. The wall in front of me, as well as my hands, was covered in blood and bits of mosquitoes. Like anyone who has been terrorized by a silent, small antagonist, I could not sleep and was wide eyed and alert to make more kills. Thanks to the protest of my fellow passengers the door to bus was shut, and after our mosquito genocide, we were all able t relax and get a bit of sleep before a new bus arrived to continue the journey.

The remainder of the trip was uneventful. The bus was a bit smaller and did not have as much leg room, but did feature Thai karaoke. Karaoke on the buses, no matter how ling the trip, is ubiquitous in southeast Asia. It's usually not too bad and a little entertaining, but not what you want to hear at 6am after being eaten alive by mosquitoes and wanting to sleep. The music was eventually shut off until a more decent hour rolled around.

It was nice to get back to Chiang Mai, but I do miss Vientiane. The pace here, while still somewhat laid back, is faster than Vientiane and the commercialism is more prevalent. Chain stores are frequent and shopping can be done in malls and stores as opposed to markets. Vientiane left a great impression on me and I hope to go back again to be a part of helping the people as they progress.