We'll Burn Anything!

Finally, a church figures out how to get adolescent boys interesting in church...Halloween Book Burning. Amazing Grace Baptist Church figured nothing peaks the curious mind of a young boy quite like a huge bonfire of books. It's nice to see that not all fascists forms of celebration have gone away.

It still baffles me why some religious zealots find it hard to believe it when outsiders question their methods, beliefs, and sanity. Fine, burn some satanist music like jazz and oldies but goldies. Most people can clearly hear the devil when enjoying a John Coltrane album or Four Tops record. But since when did 'ol satan swoop in and corrupt southern gospel and christian contemporary?!? I think these all get burned.


I guess things are just so confusing now with boys wearing jewelry, and girls wearing pants that you can be sure anything is what it claims to be. Things are so bad that the church is burning all translations of the Bible that are not the King James Version. That's right New King James Version, into the flames. Joining those blasphemous rags will be Billy Graham, Mother Teresa, John Piper and numerous other scribes of satan.

If you're not sure whether your book or CD is infected with satan, I think it's safe to say the fellas at the church will let you burn anything. So load up the family car, empty your library and enjoy the cleansing fire.

Oh, and there will be BBQ and fried chicken.



Wonkette story

If a picture is worth a thousand words, I'm glad I don't live in the Pacific

If I were fortunate enough to inhabit one of the many beautiful, albeit prone to massive wave attack, islands that dot the Pacific Ocean, I'm not sure if I'd want the guy in the hawaiian shirt with a grin on his face manning the controls when a billion tons of water is rapidly approaching. Brian Shiro, the jovial fellow in the picture, is a Pacific warning center geophysicist. Not to disparage him, because I am sure he's a great geophysicists and has plenty of tsunamis to predict in his future, but maybe he should not have given as his stock photo a picture from the day of the company luau. Sure, he was excited for some mai tai's and hot dogs, but this face does not instill confidence in me that he's ready to call in the warning on a big wave.

However, I'm sure Brian did not pick the photo to accompany the article which was written about the Tsunami Warning Center. Maybe the good folks at CNN wanted to put a happy face on the Center, which I'm guessing may 10 people know about.

"Why is this even news?", you may ask. Well, a few days ago, American Samoa was belted by a tsunami, which was triggered by a massive earthquake. As with most major natural disasters, this event was complete with death, damage, and general devastation. Maybe, to match the mood of the situation, a picture of frantic Center workers might have been more important. Not a picture of a dude chilling at his desk waiting to cut out early so he can hit the beach. I don't recall photos of jolly FEMA staff lounging at the office after Katrina flattened New Orleans. There were photos of FEMA staff lounging, but they looked concerned.

It's cool to draw in other relevant "news" after a major event, but maybe try and have the photos not say "forecasting tsunamis and warning tiny islands about their impending destruction" is like casual Friday every day.